Bryce’s birthday is the day after Canada Day (July 2nd) and we have learned from past experiences that it’s near impossible to actually celebrate his birthday on that day because people tend to be busy with events. Summer also starts in the end of June, and most people start vacationing and aren’t around for Bryce’s birthday. As a result we usually planned Bryce’s birthday a week or two before his actual birthday so we can have an attendance.

Bryce didn’t have birthday parties (outside of close friends and family) until he was in school full time. I remember for Bryce’s 7th birthday I invited all his classmates, his group daycare classmates, and friends outside of school. To get the group rate for the location we were having it at, we needed at least 10 children to show up, so I figured the more children we invited the better. A total of 60 children were invited. Since it was Bryce’s first real birthday party, we were willing to pay the costs. This was really important to us, for Bryce to have this experience, he deserved it.

I sent out all the invitations to have his birthday 2 weeks before summer break started, almost the same amount of time before his actual birthday. On the last day of RSVP’ing, the day before his birthday party, we had a total of 8 people confirmed to attend. A couple of parents called to say they weren’t attending, and exactly 49 people never RSVP’d at all.

Initially this didn’t bother me. I didn’t participate in any PTA meetings or invited children from his school on play-dates. All social interaction between my child and other peoples children was completely during school hours. Some people may even consider us to be strangers for all I know. There are a couple of parents that I say hi to everyday, and our children have been in the same class every single year. I know that their child knows my child, and I hoped that would of counted for something. It ended up bothering me later on. I can’t exactly explain why it bothered me. I guess it had something to do with being Bryce’s mother, combined with growing up with these people. They may have not been in my ‘circle of friends’ outside of the school, but I still considered them part of my life.

Regardless of the lack of attendance at Bryce’s birthday party, we all had a blast. However, since that year I’ve never hosted a birthday party inviting his classmates. It just hurt me too much. We would do our own little thing with friends and family on his actual birthday.

Would you be surprised if I told you that my worst fear of Bryce entering the school system came true? That he has only been invited to one birthday party, out of the 5 years we’ve been at this school? Growing up with at least three quarters of these children. That hurts more than having a lack of attendance at his birthday party. Bryce gets high-fives and hugs almost everyday from his classmates. He’s always been so loved and cared for by his classmates. In fact, in every class he’s ever been in, he’s always had a person that’s helped him throughout that year. Sort of like a big brother or big sister who helps put his jacket on, or read a book, and we never even got an invite to those peoples birthday. I can’t imagine that any of his classmates go to make their birthday invitations and intentionally skip Bryce’s name.

Is it because parents are afraid of things that they don’t understand? Or is Bryce too much of a disturbance and they feel he will ruin a party?

Thanks for reading,
Tanaya