As a mother, I will never give up on my child. As a mother of a child who has autism, I will never give up hope.
I look into his eyes and I see all the potential that he has to offer to this beautiful world and I just know that one day the world can see what I see.

Follow my blog as I share my life and my experiences as a person who loves someone with autism.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

This ain’t no fairytale!

Holly Robinson Peete and her husband, Rodney, founders of HollyRod Foundation, are inspirations to all parents with a child on the spectrum. They are loved and respected by the autism community, and use their celebrity status to spread awareness. They even wrote a couple books to tell their story, My Brother Charlie and Not My Boy!: A Father, A Son, and One Family's Journey with Autism.

I recently read a blog entry by Holly Robinson Peete on The Huffington Post called ‘Shifting Focus: 8 Facts About Autism the Media Is Not Covering.’ You ever notice how the media has a tendency to soften up the story like a fairytale and leave out the behind-the-scenes reality about ... everything?

Two of the facts she mentions are close to my heart and I wanted to talk about them in today's blog.

Fact: Parental guilt.

For the longest time, I always felt guilty, that maybe it was my fault. maybe I gave him autism. Did I do something wrong? Maybe if I did something differently during my pregnancy, or maybe if I didn’t get him vaccinated, or maybe I had ‘the autism gene’. All these speculations and conspiracies surrounding autism today, have run through my head over and over again. If we had more money, maybe we could of provided more early intervention, and maybe this and maybe that. All these maybe’s and what if’s running around our lives.

I can’t fix this by myself. I know that. This is bigger than me. I am his mother, and I can’t make it go away. I am great with ‘boo-boo’s and ‘owie’s, anything a band-aid can handle, but this, I couldn’t kiss away. I can’t even tell you how many times I have sat their looking at Bryce wishing away his autism. How many tears I cried just thinking, if he was just autism-free for one day, what it would be like for him. What would he say? What would he do?

Fact: Autism can be tough on a marriage.

I remember reading somewhere that 80%-90% of marriages end because autism can put a toll on a relationship. That’s a scary thought! I couldn’t imagine in a million years the amount of stress, conflict, financially, emotionally, and physically draining a relationship had to be in to end in a divorce over a child, let alone a child with autism.

That was until I lived it.

Daniel and I aren’t the perfect couple, far from it, but we’re perfect for each other, and try to be the perfect parents for Bryce. I can’t even begin to tell you how different we are when it comes to raising Bryce. Not only because Bryce has autism, but because we are his parents and we are both strong and opinionated individuals coming together with the soul purpose and goal of raising a child.

Of course we’ve had arguments and disagreements about everything from when Bryce should go to bed, and if he’s allowed to have dessert if he hasn’t finished dinner. Somehow, we seem to meet in the middle, and our different ways end up working together. I am just so fortunate to have him by my side with me on this journey. Thank you, Daniel.

Thanks for reading,

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