“When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” “Always look at the brighter side of life.” “I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down.” We’re always taught to never to give up. To make the best of a bad situation. To not be down on ourselves. To stay positive. To see the glass as half full.

The other day I saw a “We sold a winning ticket!” picture displayed at my local gas station, and couldn’t help but sulk in pure jealousy. I’ve watched Ellen hand a wad of cash to deserving, been to hell and back, need a break, single-parents, and/or lost in debt families three times the amount I’m trying to raise and get teary-eyed because I know that small amount of money is going to make a huge difference.

Money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it sure helps pay the bills. So when does the ‘nobody in particulars’ catch a break? When will autism funding pay for non-typical autism treatments? When do the mothers and fathers of children with autism, children with any disability even, get a chance? Where are our angels in disguise?

Where am I going with this? I don’t know.

I’m just frustrated and I’m angry. I’m disappointed. I’m mostly disappointed in myself. That I am unable to pay for treatment that can potentially ‘cure’ my son, or at least make his life a little bit easier. And I honestly don’t know if it’s going to make things better, but I’m willing to try. How much would you pay if you could defeat autism?

I’m just so close and I want this chance.

Thanks for reading,
Tanaya